


Discoveries & Confessions

by DarkAliceLilith



Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:16:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26753446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkAliceLilith/pseuds/DarkAliceLilith
Summary: ‘No,’ Eddie thought. ‘I don’t just love him, I’m in love with him.’
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 5
Kudos: 83
Collections: It fandom prompts Fall 2020 Gift Exchange





	Discoveries & Confessions

Eddie awoke to sunshine peeking through the windows and the feeling of a warm body pressed against his back, an arm wrapped around his waist and the feeling of someone’s breath against their neck. Yawning, he turned over to see Richie, feeling his cheeks flush at how close their faces were.

Carefully, he moved to sit up, not wanting to wake Richie yet and stretched once he was leaned against the headboard. He looked down at Richie with a soft smile. They had fallen asleep sometime last night. Comics were strewn over the bed and the record player sat silent in the corner where it had once been blasting music. 

Richie mumbled in his sleep and turned towards Eddie, his hand reaching out for him and finding Eddie’s wrist, wrapping his hand around it and sighing contentedly. 

As Eddie continued to watch Richie sleep, a thought ran through his head that made his heart jump. ‘I love him.’

It was a simple phrase and one commonly used. Of course he loved Richie, he loved all the Losers, but this phrase seemed to hold some deeper meaning and as he continued to think about it. He and Richie shared a different bond than the others. He loved each Loser, but Richie was special to him. 

Richie snorted in his sleep, mumbling again and Eddie couldn’t help but to reach down and card his fingers through Richie’s hair, careful on any tangles he found. 

‘No,’ Eddie thought. ‘I don’t just love him, I’m in love with him.’

The thought made him freeze, his heart thudding hard in his chest as he stared down at his best friend, the thought running over and over again in his mind. He dropped his hand down to Richie’s shoulder as he processed this new information. He was in love with his best friend. He was in love with Richie Tozier. 

As he sat there digesting this newfound discovery, though in the back of his mind a little voice was telling him he had always been in love with his best friend, Richie began to wake up. Slowly, he blinked his eyes open and stretched, his shirt riding up as he did so and he turned his head towards Eddie, squinting at him for a second before breaking out in a goofy smile.

“Morning, Eds!!”

His heart thudded hard in his chest and he slapped a hand over it, feeling his cheeks flush, finding himself glad that Richie didn’t have his glasses on. He could just see Richie laughing at him and though he loved the sound of Richie’s laugh, he didn’t need to hear it at that moment.

“Morning, Richie,” Eddie softly said, dropping his hand to his side and looking away, his eyes landing on the poster of a female Mortal Kombat character, keeping his eyes away from the Street Fighter one next to it featuring a lady with even larger breasts. Though Eddie hadn’t vocally said it, he had known for years that he liked boys and not girls. Richie always spoke nonstop of girls and his room was littered with posters of skimpy clothed women. Eddie hated the posters, but he never said anything in fear of what Richie would possibly think of him. 

Richie was talking beside him, but Eddie couldn’t focus much on it, just nodding his head and saying, “Yeah, that sounds great, Rich.”

Richie moved to sit beside him, their shoulders touching. Eddie looked at him, face flushing once more as he realized how close they were. 

“You alright, Eds?” Richie whispered. 

Eddie nodded. “Fine,” he said. “I think I smell your mom cooking breakfast. We should go and see what she made.” He quickly climbed off the bed, feeling a sudden need to distance himself a bit from Richie. What if he picked up on how Eddie was feeling?

“I am kinda hungry. Maybe she made her famous french toast.”

Richie clambered out of bed and together they made their way downstairs, finding Maggie and Went in the kitchen, the radio playing softly beside them as they worked to finish breakfast. Richie stopped behind him, wrapping an arm around Eddie’s waist and pulling him close, resting his chin on Eddie’s shoulder. It wasn’t something uncommon for them, they were always closer with each other than the other Losers, but after his revelation that morning he was finding it hard to breath and quickly reached for his fanny pack only to remember he had thrown it on Richie’s dresser.

Richie seemed to notice his struggle and reached into his own pocket and pulled out an extra inhaler that he carried with him. Eddie hardly had any need of it, but he always appreciated the gesture and as their fingers touched when he passed it over, Eddie let out a shaky breath.

After a puff, he slid the inhaler back over to Richie. “Feeling better?”

“A little,” Eddie whispered, though his chest still felt tight. 

“He won’t be able to breath if you keep smothering him,” Went said. “Help us set the table, Richie. Food is almost ready.”

Eddie sat at the table where four glasses of orange juice had already been poured and took a sip from the full glass in front of him. There were meds he knew that he needed to be taking but as Richie set a plate down in front of him and took the seat next to him, sliding just a bit closer, Eddie found he didn’t want to get up. Richie smiled at him and Eddie smiled back, his heart fluttering. 

Maggie came over with the french toast, sliding a couple of pieces onto both of their plates. “Start there and if you’re still hungry, then there’s plenty more.”

Went placed the eggs and bacon on the table and pressed a kiss to Maggie’s cheek before sitting down and addressing Richie. “I know Eddie’s here, but I still expect you to get your chores done today.”

“I can help,” Eddie said. “Then they’ll be done faster.”

“Nonsense, you’re a guest, Eddie,” Maggie said.

Eddie shrugged. “I don’t mind. I like cleaning.”

“Wish Richie liked cleaning,” Went joked, ruffling Richie’s hair. “Alright, but don’t do all of them for him.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll make him work,” Eddie said as Richie rolled his eyes. 

After breakfast and a couple of Saturday morning cartoons, they threw on their coats and went outside to rake leaves, but before they could get to the garage to grab out what they needed, Richie sat down on the lawn and tugged Eddie down next to him.

“We’re supposed to be working.”

Richie shrugged, closing his eyes and lying back against the fallen leaves. The wind picked up, blowing more leaves around, some landing on Richie who didn’t bother to brush them away. “We’ve got time. This is the only thing we need to get done before it gets dark.” He turned to look at Eddie with a smile. “Besides, it’s nice out here.”

“It’s chilly.”

“I’ll warm you up, Eds,” Richie said with a wink, patting the space between them.

Eddie’s cheeks flushed and he looked away, glad for the cold air to blame on his red face. Instead of laying down, he pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. 

“You’re insufferable.”

Richie just chuckled and looked up at the sky. “Do you know what you want to be for Halloween this year?”

“Don’t know yet.”

“Wanna be the Bill to my Ted?”

“We did that already.”

“So? It was fun, dude!”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “What were you thinking of? Besides that?”

“Mortal Kombat? I think I would make a great Johnny Cage.”

“No.”

“Okay, how about Spiderman and Mary Jane?”

Eddie snorted. “Only if I get to be Spiderman.”

“I’d be your Mary Jane,” Richie said in a soft voice and Eddie looked at him, his heart thudding fast as he waited for the inevitable joke, but it never came. 

Eddie looked away again, watching a couple of kids across the street jumping into piles of leaves. He was quiet for a moment, not sure how to process what Richie said. “Why don’t we do something with everyone? There’s seven of us. That’s plenty of people to do the Outsiders.”

“That’s not a bad idea,” Richie said, getting up and brushing himself off. He held out a hand towards Eddie. “Come on, let’s get to work.”

Eddie took his hand and Richie helped him up, giving Eddie a tug once he was on his feet and pulling him close. Eddie sucked in a breath as Richie’s free hand reached towards him. He didn’t understand why he was reacting like this, they weren’t acting any different than normal, it wasn’t unusual for them to be so close. 

Richie pulled a leaf from his hair and tossed it aside. “You don’t have to be out here with me.”

“It doesn't bother me to help. I like helping.”

“Even if it’s boring?”

“Life can’t be boring when you're around, Richie.”

Richie grinned at him before turning and pulling him towards the garage to grab rakes and trashbags. 

They spent half an hour on the front lawn, getting all the leaves gathered into three bags, leaving them by the curb before making their way into the backyard. 

Richie sighed and leaned against the side of the house as he looked at the covered yard. “How about a break?”

“We would have had the front yard done quicker if you had quit fucking around,” Eddie said, giving Richie a gentle shove before going towards the far back. “Come on. We’ll work until it’s lunchtime at least.”

“No fun.”

“You know the less time you spent bitching, the more time we’ll have to do fun stuff,” Eddie said. “Come on, I’m not doing this all by myself.”

Richie sighed and walked towards the back, taking the opposite side of where Eddie had begun to rake. They worked for awhile, making up one pile before Richie groaned and said, “Why did my parents have to get a house with such a big fucking yard?”

“Just think, you could have been doing this all by yourself.”

Richie made a face and flopped down on the ground. “I hate doing this by myself. Takes too much time.”

Eddie sat down next to him. “We’ll take a break. I think we can knock out the rest after lunch.”

“Sounds like a great plan,” Richie said, leaning against him and sighing. Eddie instinctively wrapped his arm around Richie’s waist as Richie’s head fell against his shoulder. “I need a nap.”

“After we finish.”

Richie faked a snore and Eddie scoffed pushing him off of him. Richie laughed before tackling Eddie, the two of them wrestling around. They stop once they accidentally roll into their pile of leaves, Eddie overtop of Richie, pinning him down, both of them breathing heavily. 

Eddie looked down at Richie, his cheeks flushed from a combination of the cold wind and their wrestling. Leaves were stuck in his hair and there was a smear of dirt on his cheek, but Eddie couldn’t help but think that he still looked cute. 

His eyes flickered to Richie’s lips, parted as he tried to regain his breath again and slightly chapped. He felt an overwhelming urge to kiss him and before he could stop himself, he was leaning down and closing the distance between them.

It was a quick kiss, but enough to make Eddie’s heart pound in his chest. As he pulled back, he took in how shocked Richie looked. 

It was at that moment he realized he fucked up and scrambled away from Richie, feeling terrified because they lived in Derry and boys don’t like other boys in Derry.

He wrapped his arms around himself, suddenly finding it hard to breath. Once again, he had left his fanny pack inside. He clutched at his chest, barely registering that Richie was moving. His only thought being how stupid he was for kissing him and how much Richie was going to hate him now. 

Something was pressed against his lips, Eddie vaguely recognizing it as his inhaler, sucking in as it was depressed. Slowly, he began to breathe normal and became aware of Richie in front of him, his hands gently running up and down Eddie’s arms. 

Eddie felt cautious as he took in Richie’s worried face. “You alright there, Eddie Spaghetti?” Eddie nodded, unable to form words. Richie looked nervous, his eyes darting everywhere but Eddie before asking, “Was it that bad of a kiss?”

Eddie felt himself relax a little bit, shaking his head again. “No. No, it was fine.”

“Then uh-why did you freak out?”

“I’m gay, Richie.”

“I got that from you kissing me.”

“But you’re not.”

Richie frowned. “Eddie,” he whispered so softly that if they weren’t sitting so close, Eddie would have never heard him. “I-I-...” he trailed off and shook his head, looking down at the ground. “I can’t say it. I’m not brave enough.”

Eddie took Richie’s hand and held it tight in his own. “Are you gay too?”

“I-I don’t know,” Richie answered, his shoulders shaking. “All I know is that I’ve liked-“ he stopped and shook his head. “It’s hard to say, I haven’t told anyone.”

“I haven’t told anyone either,” Eddie said. “I never spoke the words out loud until today.”

Richie nodded and took a couple of deep breaths before he started to speak again and in a shaky voice, he said, “I’ve been in love with you since we were eleven, probably even longer than that. I think that I’ve always loved you.” 

Eddie looked at Richie in shock. “You love me?”

Richie nodded, looking a little scared. With his free hand, Eddie reached out and touched Richie’s cheek and Richie leaned into the touch, his eyes sliding shut. “And maybe you love me too?”

“Yeah,” Eddie said. “I haven’t known it for quite so long, but I do, Richie. I love you too.”

Richie opened his eyes and stared at Eddie, searching his face for something. After a moment, he smiled and said. “Can we kiss again?”

Eddie nodded and leaned forward, pressing his lips to Richie’s again. Richie kissed back and they sat there for a moment, just kissing soft and slow over and over again, Eddie finding himself thinking how he never wanted to stop. 

At some point they did stop and Richie pressed his lips to Eddie’s forehead before wrapping his arms around him and holding him tight. Eddie returned the embrace, resting his head on Richie’s shoulder and giving a soft sigh.

“I’ve wanted to kiss you for so long,” Richie whispered, running his fingers through Eddie’s hair. “I thought about it all the time, but I was so scared. I was scared that you would hate me.”

“I could never hate you, Richie.”

Richie held him tighter. “You wanna be my boyfriend?”

Eddie lifted his head to look up at him and smiled. “Yeah, Richie, I wanna be your boyfriend.”

Richie smiled and gave him another kiss, the two of them breaking apart when they heard the sliding door to the porch open. Maggie called out to them that lunch was ready and Richie jumped up, taking Eddie’s hand and helping him up, not letting go until they were in the house.


End file.
